DNA Joyce part 2
On the 10th March 2016, I received the results from my ancestry DNA test, a Christmas present from Freya my daughter. It arrived a couple of days before my mom’s birthday and shortly afterwards on 25th March my dad passed away. My mom had also passed away 25 years earlier, so it was and still is a poignant time of year.
My father’s passing put the DNA exploration on hold and it is only now, one year on that I’ve been able to jump back into looking at the results again.
To add context to my study, a part of my upbringing was a terrane of physical, emotional and racial abuse. Some of that racial abuse was being echoed externally. Politicians were threatening that our rivers would be filled with blood, whilst friends and others would say things like, “but you’re not really black are you”. But at the same time, I was having to psychologically ward off racial taunts such as gollywog, nig-nog, sambo and other explicit and aggressive remarks. Television negatively portrayed the black male as a negative stereotype. Furthermore, education was not displaying those visual role models that would have helped to stabilise a vulnerable identity, as history was from a white perspective and therefore that is what dominated history pages. The pressure to my young child was very real and at the age of 14 I, thankfully, failed an attempted to take my life by taking an overdose of pills.
Given this, I’ve also had and am grateful for the positive family role models, experiences from life and the love of good friends. Each person has their own life experience. We all have different reasons to wish to root deeper or not, amongst other reasons this is some of mine.
It is important that our visible presence is seen in our education and institutions. Especially as African history is intrinsically linked to European history, yet its presence is yet to be more apparent. One can not exist without the other. Our children of colour need to see positive role models and positive history to remind them of their potential. This is changing thanks to great civil rights leaders that challenged the status quo of our past and those that challenge our current psychological mindset framed in the habitual ideals resting on imperialistic foundations that may no longer serve us.
As I once said to someone who found my speaking of my black identity a threat, “My speaking of my own story does not undermine, devalue or challenge yours, unless your story as been seen to oppress my civil rights as a person”. We all have different reasons to wish to root deeper or not, amongst other reasons this is some of mine.
Link to DNA MY DAD PART1
For others wishing to investigate their own DNA this is the site that my daughter purchased from. She researched a few sites before choosing. I suggest you research, as there are many to choose from.
Death can chew you up and spit you out into a drowning sea leaving you to sink beneath the oceans of despair, gasping to make sense of its cruelty. Gulping at its ridicule to rip you apart like a shipwrecked voyage.
Death calls for company to make things feel better, to be cradled and consoled, yet the hollow and gravity felt on the heart, the disappearance of a loved one, keeps you alone questioning existence.
Death calls for you to turn your head to Your heart and step out of the shadows to blaze, cinder and start over again.
Death shows you that its path gives life to those who dare to bare their feelings of fear, failures, hopes and dreams. It will strangle all doubt and give birth.
Death has a purpose to open up the impossible’s and shake every ounce of guise from delusion.
Death has a way of getting rid of the old, the outdated, the archaic, giving room to antiquity or iniquity dependant on who says so.
Death will be here today, tomorrow and yesterday and each and every one of us shall meet it at some point from now.