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Mixed media artist

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DNA Freya part 3


Christmas 2015 my daughter Freya bought me a DNA kit from ancestryDNA.com.

It was very kindhearted and thoughtful of Freya to give this as a gift. ┬áIt is so easy to switch off from listening to what our loved one’s are saying. I’m pleased that I’ve been able to share with Freya my own story and insecurities and how I have to manage the vulnerable feelings that sometimes show up from time to time during periods of uncertainty. How easily we forget to nurture our pains with kindness.

 

Seeing another’s point of view whilst knowing your own position is an ongoing practice. I’ve shared many conversations regarding race and heritage with my daughter and I’m not always sure I’m forwarding the correct/right or best response. So the best I can do is speak of my own experiences as they are close and try at the same time to allow for Freya’s too, as they are different from mime. To tell our children that we know it all feels disingenuous. I’ve been around longer so my experiences and knowledge is obviously broader. But there are sometimes when I honestly have to admit that I do not know. My faith in my own spiritual practice and response to life may be 31 years older but I’m as unsure as the next person of the uncertainty of certain things. I find it interesting that so many people teach otherwise.

Being curious and asking questions has lead me to plan a journey to travel through parts of the middle passage for a healing and historic exploration. I’m wishing to undress some of the emotions that have been boxed and shelved. Feelings that do not wish to be hidden, ignored or anaesthetised. This is sometimes difficult for me as I tend to choose defence and protection rather than allow how I really feel to be expressed. And as much as the warrior in me is called for from time, a flight or fight may not be the right call for action. But that fear to be vulnerable is becoming less and less, where I choose art, dance, exercise laughter, and good company to express and share. My close work with vulnerable people has also taught be the benefits of nurturing an intimate space.

Here Im left to consider the multi faceted nature of people and their cultures, heritage and personal life experiences and how that influences the way our minds operate.

Mindfulness and practice. Actioning my words. And contrary to what I was recently accused of, I do not think I’m always right. When unsure I ask for help from others that show love and my daughter tells me to take the swear from my words from time to time.

I’m currently in Jamaica with Freya looking at my father’s birthplace, it’s history, chilling out and visiting family. Also researching and taking notes along the way. Its 05.20 here in JA. I want to post this blog before the day begins, as there will be little opportunity to do it later. I posted a part 1 and part 2 previous. To read those, please click on links below.

Bye for now.

To read part 1 and 2 of DNA travels:

#dnatravels

#dnamiddlepassage

DNA MY DAD PART 1

DNA JOYCE PART 2

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